i just ended my last public exam last week, and this saturday will be my secondary graduation ceremony. last month was a total torture for us senior threes as UEC's standard is unexpectedly high and it drives all of us insane. okay so just stop discussing about this UEC and get back to carol. she left, yes, how sad. we rushed to the airport, and we had great time catching up for the very last time before she leaves. we went to McDonald and i had this choco top sundae its so delicious heh heh. anyway, the day that i've been trying to avoid finally reached and so ya, she left. i cried, ofcourse. i'm such a cry baby! and also, i made a booklet for carol, with pictures and memories of us (me sherry and carol) inside.
the front page of the book! from left : carol, me, sherry.
some pages of the book! i doesn't want to show much.
since June, my confident towards the relationship of me and lithium starts to fade. i no longer have much confident between us like before, probably it's because of lithium's act changed during that period of time. i am not a confident person, always afraid of other people's gaze towards me, especially in relationships.
i do not think i'm the best girlfriend in the world, no, but i do think that i've done quite a lot for him. i do make breakfasts, prepare meals, spending a lot of money and time preparing gifts, and giving as much as i could when he needs me. i understand how giving in a relationship is not for getting feedback, and i also understand there must be one side giving a lot more than the other side. but what if there's only one side giving and the other side never gives? should i consider him being in this relationship just for benefits? i do not know what to do now, because i've been having problems with lithium recently. we do quarrel, we do argue because of small things last time but things seems to be quite serious for the past few weeks.
i don't know how things became like this but we can still be very close with each other at times. only when sometimes when i get angry because of things he did wrong, it's like world war III lol. i do have an irascible temper so i think it's quite difficult cool me down once i get reallllllly angry. but no, i do not simply get angry. i only get angry when i think i should.
so with my emotions, and with his 'unromanticness' and his 'doesn't-know-how-to-comfort-people-ness', we're definitely not a perfect couple match but i love him, a lot more than before and i know he loves me too. i do not know what to do but i do know that i really want to hold on this relationship, tight. there are times when i want to give up but after thinking all the hard times we've been through to get together, the thought will dismiss slowly. tho i do have friends who ask me to let go, but i'm sorry, i do not want to lose him. talking about his 'unromanticness', wa i tell you! he is the most romanticless person i've ever met. don't you think walking on the beach by the sea with your love ones, embracing the beautiful sunset is really romantic? no, he thinks that walking on the beach makes our slippers and feet dirty lol whutttttt. oh well, choose your love, love your choice.
i should just stop here because it's never enough for me talking about lithium! *blushes* so, bye! goodnight. i will, i mean i'll try, to blog as much as i can. heh heh.
